Love has long been a topic from philosopher to scientist. There are many opinions out here about love and falling in love. The scientist has even searched and measured the effect of love in changing the biochemistry of the brain.
I, myself, have not done any research, but I have loved three different persons in my life. Here, I am not talking about love to my parents, friends, siblings, or natures, but the love to someone that gives me a desire to be his girlfriend or wife.
I could describe love to someone as these three acts:
1. I fight for you is one act of love, and in my opinion, this is the most crucial action when a problem occurs.
Life is not always about happiness. The path of love isn’t still smooth. Your partner might need your support. Your willingness is driven by that feeling because there is love in you for her/him.
If you think you love someone but aren’t willing to do anything for this love, then it can’t be defined as love. So I asked your self, are you ready to fight for her/him, or is he/she willing to fight for you?
My husband and I were born & raised in different countries. I am a south-Asian woman & He is a Caucasian man. We met ten years ago & fell in love. After much reasoning & consideration, moving to Europe was the best option for that moment. I considered this a fight we did for each other. We had to adjust to so many things as we were two very different persons.
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2. I fight beside you is the second act of love. This act shows the understanding of the difficulties your loved ones have at present.
Then I moved to Belgium. Life wasn’t easy for me. In the first years in Belgium, I had to restart my life again. At that time, I had often felt that I was no one: I couldn’t speak the local language, I couldn’t get a job directly (my bachelor’s degree is not recognized in Belgium and the most difficult of all, I had no one, except him). I have felt that I had left everything behind for him. I had to work hard to form my new life. I started to learn Dutch in an intensive course (Monday to Friday, four hours per day + a few hours extras I studied independently to review all lessons I have learned).
The second year in Belgium, I registered as a graduate student in the Ghent University, major Business Psychology, next to this study, I also worked four days a week from Monday to Sunday, 6h a day. I had combined those two activities with studying to get a driving license and with learning some French.
Those activities consumed my time. I had hardly any time to clean the house, to cook, or to date him.
At that moment, I could say that we didn’t live together. We lived under the same roof, but we didn’t have time to sit together, to talk, or even to party together (I often refused invitations, as I had still so many works to do). If the love weren’t strong enough, we would quickly break out.
But No, we saw those periods as temporary. It’s our war that we had to fight together, side to side. He used to call me from my study room when the meal was ready. He used to drive me to work every Sunday at 6 AM, as I started at 7 AM, or to drive me home from work at 1.30 after midnight when I have a nightshift.
I thanked him for his passions and his willingness to help me to go through this.
For him, it was his fight too.
3. I fight with you is the last act of love.
Have you ever asked this question with your loved ones?
“Why would you fight with me if you love me?
Yes, when we love someone & it’s reciprocal. We tend to speak our minds as we feel safe to be us around the person we love.
Besides, you also know him/her too well, and you care so much to walk away. So you said your opinion out loud and unfiltered. He/she answered you even harder, not because you were wrong or right, but because he also felt safe to be himself.
I guess I don’t need to give an example of this last one.
It’s your turn to give an example, would you?
Tell me your opinion? What is love for you?